Ma Petities,
your mama is sad today. I broke a vase that I had had for years and dearly loved. I knocked it off the counter when I was getting ready to clean it and it broke into several pieces. Armed with gorilla glue and a blow dryer I tried to put it back together again. For a while it looked promising, all the big pieces fit together and it was retaking its beautiful form. But eventually I came to realise that while all the big pieces were there it was the little ones that were missing that would make my vase whole and water tight again. As I looked at my once beautiful vase I got to thinking about relationships.
Sometimes in life we are the proud owners of a beautiful relationship. Then out of no where something happens that breaks that relationship and you love it so much that you scoop up all the pieces you can find and set down to put it back together again. You want to believe that something so beautiful could never be ruined beyond repair. you twist and turn the pieces, forcing them together, cementing them with glue in hopes that you can repair this treasure. However sometimes you just can't fix what is broken. Sometimes the breaking destroys the tiny magic that holds all the big pieces together. While you can glue the big pieces together your relationship will never be as strong or as water tight as it was. Glue loses its hold, cracks spread with time, and the whole relationship is a fragile imitation of what it once was.
When this happens to a relationship, its no ones fault. you both tried to fix things, neither one of you held back the magical tiny piece that would make it whole once again. While there is sorrow there shouldn't be anger at your partner. Neither one of you meant to break the relationship, sometimes accidents just happen.
Now I'm off to find a new vase to put my flowers in but I'll leave you with this parting thought. Are you trying to fix something that can't be fixed and if you are how long are you going to fight with it until you let it go?
Monday, January 31, 2011
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Rolling with the Punches
Hello Ma Petities,
We all have that friend or love one who when change comes they dig in there heels, claw at the ground, and scream at the fact they have to change. So often these changes are caused by things that we can not change; whether that be a monumental change in our lives such as a baby, death in the family, end of a relationship or the just the luck of the draw such as layoffs, illness or a natural disaster.
We all go through these types of changes at some point in our lives and while some of us handle them with grace and dignity, those who don't make life exceedingly hard on the people who love and are around them. The people who refuse to roll with the punches make it very hard for the people who love them to help them. They yell and scream at the help and they alienate the ones who love them through this lack of give. How do you help some one who is only going to tell you that all your efforts are wrong? how do you work up the energy to give that person comfort, aid, or solace when all they will do is tell you that because it is not done the way or when they wanted it done it is incorrect and unappreciated?
I ask you Ma Petities to examine your lives. are you the one who rolls with the punches and accepts help with grace and dignity or are you the one who fights the changes and ends up pushing the people who love you away?
We all have that friend or love one who when change comes they dig in there heels, claw at the ground, and scream at the fact they have to change. So often these changes are caused by things that we can not change; whether that be a monumental change in our lives such as a baby, death in the family, end of a relationship or the just the luck of the draw such as layoffs, illness or a natural disaster.
We all go through these types of changes at some point in our lives and while some of us handle them with grace and dignity, those who don't make life exceedingly hard on the people who love and are around them. The people who refuse to roll with the punches make it very hard for the people who love them to help them. They yell and scream at the help and they alienate the ones who love them through this lack of give. How do you help some one who is only going to tell you that all your efforts are wrong? how do you work up the energy to give that person comfort, aid, or solace when all they will do is tell you that because it is not done the way or when they wanted it done it is incorrect and unappreciated?
I ask you Ma Petities to examine your lives. are you the one who rolls with the punches and accepts help with grace and dignity or are you the one who fights the changes and ends up pushing the people who love you away?
Monday, January 10, 2011
Taking yourself on a Date
Hello Ma Petities,
When was the last time you went out and did something by yourself?
If you can't remember then it is time to take yourself out on a date. Take yourself out to dinner where you order what ever you want with out the pressure to seem perfect. Go to a movie that you are really interested in and indulge at the snack bar. Splurge on just yourself, do something that you are passionate about, or take up a new hobby.
We often worry about what society will think of a woman out to dinner or a movie by herself. But in giving in to the societal pressure of being attached to either a man or an entourage we deny ourselves the fun, freedom, and independence of being alone. Being alone gives us time to recharge for our relationships, release from the social expectations that often cage us, and time to find a new and improved love for ourselves. The cage of caring what society thinks often keeps us from experiencing the full range of life. Break free of that cage and spread those wings. Don't be afraid of falling. Mistakes and new experiences are how we grow and to hamper those things stunt the growth that we as humans are capable of.
Life is like cooking. It is an art not a science. Experimentation, experience, and lucky mistakes are what create masterpieces in both. Don't limit yourself to society's recipe. Try some Creative cooking 101 in both your life and your kitchen.
When was the last time you went out and did something by yourself?
If you can't remember then it is time to take yourself out on a date. Take yourself out to dinner where you order what ever you want with out the pressure to seem perfect. Go to a movie that you are really interested in and indulge at the snack bar. Splurge on just yourself, do something that you are passionate about, or take up a new hobby.
We often worry about what society will think of a woman out to dinner or a movie by herself. But in giving in to the societal pressure of being attached to either a man or an entourage we deny ourselves the fun, freedom, and independence of being alone. Being alone gives us time to recharge for our relationships, release from the social expectations that often cage us, and time to find a new and improved love for ourselves. The cage of caring what society thinks often keeps us from experiencing the full range of life. Break free of that cage and spread those wings. Don't be afraid of falling. Mistakes and new experiences are how we grow and to hamper those things stunt the growth that we as humans are capable of.
Life is like cooking. It is an art not a science. Experimentation, experience, and lucky mistakes are what create masterpieces in both. Don't limit yourself to society's recipe. Try some Creative cooking 101 in both your life and your kitchen.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Listening
Hello Ma Petities,
I find the older I get the smarter my mama gets. I quite often find myself giving the advice she gave to me and hoping like she hoped that whoever I am speaking to will listen to me.
So often we are given advice that while we may hear, we don't actually listen. We also may not hear what our partners are saying to us. We end up projecting our own fears, insecurities, and definitions on to what they are actually saying. This causes fights, misunderstandings and resentment to build. If we all worked to actually listen instead of inferring meaning on what our partners are saying how much easier would our lives be. Think of the honest communications that could be had if we cleared our own meaning and took what our loved ones said at face value.
Listening to our partners is so important. Work on it babies and let your relationships go as smooth as possible
I find the older I get the smarter my mama gets. I quite often find myself giving the advice she gave to me and hoping like she hoped that whoever I am speaking to will listen to me.
So often we are given advice that while we may hear, we don't actually listen. We also may not hear what our partners are saying to us. We end up projecting our own fears, insecurities, and definitions on to what they are actually saying. This causes fights, misunderstandings and resentment to build. If we all worked to actually listen instead of inferring meaning on what our partners are saying how much easier would our lives be. Think of the honest communications that could be had if we cleared our own meaning and took what our loved ones said at face value.
Listening to our partners is so important. Work on it babies and let your relationships go as smooth as possible
Monday, January 3, 2011
Welcome to the new year
Hello Ma Petities,
i hope that you all are making wishes and are dreaming big for this new year. I know that we as Americans have the tradition of making new year resolutions that typically don't even make it through the end of January. I'm not going to encourage you to make resolutions this year. Instead I want you to make your bucket list. write down all the things you really want to do before you die. I also want you to indulge in the simple joys of life.
Find the pleasure in life; dance around your house in your pj's, eat desert first, savor every bite of food, soak up the sun and find the beauty in a quite day with your lover. Find your passion and immerse yourself in it. Let go of regrets, fears, and insecurities; indulge in the wild freedom of life. Relish in the journey you are on, get excited about the unknown, and allow yourself to see the possibilities in each new day. Let your soul fly this year. Let this year be the year you finally start making your dreams come true.
To this new year and all of its wonderful possibilities, I raise a glass. May it be a wild passionate ride for all of you.
i hope that you all are making wishes and are dreaming big for this new year. I know that we as Americans have the tradition of making new year resolutions that typically don't even make it through the end of January. I'm not going to encourage you to make resolutions this year. Instead I want you to make your bucket list. write down all the things you really want to do before you die. I also want you to indulge in the simple joys of life.
Find the pleasure in life; dance around your house in your pj's, eat desert first, savor every bite of food, soak up the sun and find the beauty in a quite day with your lover. Find your passion and immerse yourself in it. Let go of regrets, fears, and insecurities; indulge in the wild freedom of life. Relish in the journey you are on, get excited about the unknown, and allow yourself to see the possibilities in each new day. Let your soul fly this year. Let this year be the year you finally start making your dreams come true.
To this new year and all of its wonderful possibilities, I raise a glass. May it be a wild passionate ride for all of you.
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