Good Evening Ma Petities,
Tonight I need to talk to you all about something that I am guilty of and need to caution you all about. My wonderful man and I are going through a rough time and it is because I haven't spoken up about my needs. He has been missing me and I have been missing him. This rough patch could have been avoided had I spoken up about my need for more time and more physical attention.
Everyone has needs with in a relationship that need to be met. However, we ladies have a bad habit of expecting our partners to read our minds or putting our needs on the back burner hoping that things will magically get better. Well babies relationships don't work that way. You need to speak up about your needs. Tell your partner where you are so that you don't end up with a huge rift between you.
Relationships take work and without talking about the things you need you are making your partner do all the work. So babies tell your partner what you need, make the effort to communicate, and put in your far share of the work on the relationship. You need to be an adult and admit what you need. Your relationship will be the better for it.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Saturday, November 27, 2010
spoil yourself
Good evening Ma Petities,
During this hectic and often stressful time of year we tend to forget about taking care of ourselves. We rush around trying to make the holidays perfect for our loved ones and never stop to think about what we need. I know I do it on a real regular basis much to my man's frustration.
But Ma Petities listen to me when i say that you need to take care of yourself too or you will get burnt out. Leaving your loved ones with just a shell of the person they know and care about. This burn out doesn't make the holidays wonderful for anyone.
So babies take the time to spoil yourself this year. spend a little money on yourself, do something for your pleasure alone, or just take the time to decompress a little bit. Think of it as giving yourself a gift. A gift that not only benefits you but one that also benefits your loved ones. You'll feel a hundred times better for doing just a little something for yourself.
Spoil yourself and make this holiday season a happy one for everyone including yourself.
During this hectic and often stressful time of year we tend to forget about taking care of ourselves. We rush around trying to make the holidays perfect for our loved ones and never stop to think about what we need. I know I do it on a real regular basis much to my man's frustration.
But Ma Petities listen to me when i say that you need to take care of yourself too or you will get burnt out. Leaving your loved ones with just a shell of the person they know and care about. This burn out doesn't make the holidays wonderful for anyone.
So babies take the time to spoil yourself this year. spend a little money on yourself, do something for your pleasure alone, or just take the time to decompress a little bit. Think of it as giving yourself a gift. A gift that not only benefits you but one that also benefits your loved ones. You'll feel a hundred times better for doing just a little something for yourself.
Spoil yourself and make this holiday season a happy one for everyone including yourself.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Feeling disconnected
Welcome Ma Petites,
How many of you have layed in bed with your partner and felt like they were a million miles away?
I know I have felt this disconnection. I know the hurt it can cause and the questions it can bring up. When you find yourself in this situation in your relationship I know it can be hard to figure out how to fix it. It often feels like there is no way back across the chasim that has formed between you and your partner. But that isn't true. Don't give up on your relationship just because you have hit a rough patch.
First take the time to look at what is really going on in the reationship. is there ouside stress going on? If yes then wait a bitand see if the relationship gets any better once that stress has eased. If no then find out what is going on. Second talk camly and rationally to your partner. DO NOT YELL AND SCREAM at them. Yelling andscreaming is not condusive to them telling you the truth or to fixing the relationship. Tell them how you feel and try not to place the blame anywhere. Your relationship should not be a score board but a path that you are trying to smooth out. Third make an effort to show your love. Do little things for him, shave your legs all the way up, wear an outfit that you know he likes. Doing things like this will help to bulid a bridge across the divide and help to mend your relationship.
A good relationship is a lot of hardwork but the rewards of all that hard work are well worth it Ma Petites.
How many of you have layed in bed with your partner and felt like they were a million miles away?
I know I have felt this disconnection. I know the hurt it can cause and the questions it can bring up. When you find yourself in this situation in your relationship I know it can be hard to figure out how to fix it. It often feels like there is no way back across the chasim that has formed between you and your partner. But that isn't true. Don't give up on your relationship just because you have hit a rough patch.
First take the time to look at what is really going on in the reationship. is there ouside stress going on? If yes then wait a bitand see if the relationship gets any better once that stress has eased. If no then find out what is going on. Second talk camly and rationally to your partner. DO NOT YELL AND SCREAM at them. Yelling andscreaming is not condusive to them telling you the truth or to fixing the relationship. Tell them how you feel and try not to place the blame anywhere. Your relationship should not be a score board but a path that you are trying to smooth out. Third make an effort to show your love. Do little things for him, shave your legs all the way up, wear an outfit that you know he likes. Doing things like this will help to bulid a bridge across the divide and help to mend your relationship.
A good relationship is a lot of hardwork but the rewards of all that hard work are well worth it Ma Petites.
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Put on your Big Girl Panties and Grow Up
Hello Ma Petites
Today I have some tough love for you. I want you all to look at how you handle stress, disappointment, and strife in your lives. Do you brace your self for it, communicate with your partner through it, and handle it with grace and wisdom; or do you throw a fit, yell and scream, and all around make an ass of yourself? If you answer the latter then here is my advice. PUT ON YOUR BIG GIRL PANTIES AND GROW UP.
Throwing a fit, yelling, and saying things you don't mean is childish and puts even more stress on your relationship. Trust me when I say that adding stress to an already stressful situation is not the way to keep your relationship healthy. It puts your partner into a situation where they think about ending the relationship because you lack the maturity to handle life in the real world.
The truth of the matter is that relationships are hard work and often times life gets in the way of being able to give every thing to them. You have to be able to get through those times on the hope that things will get better once the stress has disappated with out making the situation worse because once your partner has the thought about ending things it is much easier to come back to that thought in times of strife. It also puts you in a postion where you have to not only give more to the relationship after the stressful period but you are forced to do damage control to get your relationship back to a healthy point.
So Ma Petites it is time to grow up. Your relationships will be better for it I assure you
Today I have some tough love for you. I want you all to look at how you handle stress, disappointment, and strife in your lives. Do you brace your self for it, communicate with your partner through it, and handle it with grace and wisdom; or do you throw a fit, yell and scream, and all around make an ass of yourself? If you answer the latter then here is my advice. PUT ON YOUR BIG GIRL PANTIES AND GROW UP.
Throwing a fit, yelling, and saying things you don't mean is childish and puts even more stress on your relationship. Trust me when I say that adding stress to an already stressful situation is not the way to keep your relationship healthy. It puts your partner into a situation where they think about ending the relationship because you lack the maturity to handle life in the real world.
The truth of the matter is that relationships are hard work and often times life gets in the way of being able to give every thing to them. You have to be able to get through those times on the hope that things will get better once the stress has disappated with out making the situation worse because once your partner has the thought about ending things it is much easier to come back to that thought in times of strife. It also puts you in a postion where you have to not only give more to the relationship after the stressful period but you are forced to do damage control to get your relationship back to a healthy point.
So Ma Petites it is time to grow up. Your relationships will be better for it I assure you
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Asking for help
Hello Ma Petites,
your mama is a tired woman today. I have been running around like a chicken with its head cut off trying to get everything on my todo list done and babies it just hasn't been happening. So its time for me to do the thing that as an independent woman i hate to do. I have to ask for help.
Now babies i know how hard it can be to do this, trust me i hate doing it myself, but there comes a time when we just have too much on our plate and we need to do it. We often brace ourselves, stutter and stammer while asking, and more often than not feel like we have failed on some level because we couldn't do it all.
Well listen to mama, we are not super woman. there is nothing wrong with asking for some help and it doesn't make you a failure. asking for help shows wisdom. It allows you to finish everything and often times do a better job as a whole because you weren't so rushed to do things that you half assed everything. Asking for help also shows trust because whoever you ask to help you wither it be your man, girlfriend, or family member you are saying to them, "I trust you to have my back and to help me do this". This level of trust is huge i know and i know that we often want to check up on them every ten minuets to see if they are doing it "right" or in other words the way we would do it. But ladies listen to me when I say that if you trust them enough to ask them for help then trust that they are going to do it to the best of their ability and not screw you over. Asking them implies you trust them so go through with that and actually do it.
I think that today society has brain washed us in to believing that if we have to ask for help then we need to turn in our woman card because according to our society we should be able to be a mother, wife, career woman, girlfriend, activist, and have a hobby. now i don't know about you ladies but just the first one in that long list is a full time job. Any sane person would need help. so babies don't feel bad about asking for help. feel like you are taking care of not only the people around you but yourself as well. I know its hard but the more you do it the easier it will get i promise.
your mama is a tired woman today. I have been running around like a chicken with its head cut off trying to get everything on my todo list done and babies it just hasn't been happening. So its time for me to do the thing that as an independent woman i hate to do. I have to ask for help.
Now babies i know how hard it can be to do this, trust me i hate doing it myself, but there comes a time when we just have too much on our plate and we need to do it. We often brace ourselves, stutter and stammer while asking, and more often than not feel like we have failed on some level because we couldn't do it all.
Well listen to mama, we are not super woman. there is nothing wrong with asking for some help and it doesn't make you a failure. asking for help shows wisdom. It allows you to finish everything and often times do a better job as a whole because you weren't so rushed to do things that you half assed everything. Asking for help also shows trust because whoever you ask to help you wither it be your man, girlfriend, or family member you are saying to them, "I trust you to have my back and to help me do this". This level of trust is huge i know and i know that we often want to check up on them every ten minuets to see if they are doing it "right" or in other words the way we would do it. But ladies listen to me when I say that if you trust them enough to ask them for help then trust that they are going to do it to the best of their ability and not screw you over. Asking them implies you trust them so go through with that and actually do it.
I think that today society has brain washed us in to believing that if we have to ask for help then we need to turn in our woman card because according to our society we should be able to be a mother, wife, career woman, girlfriend, activist, and have a hobby. now i don't know about you ladies but just the first one in that long list is a full time job. Any sane person would need help. so babies don't feel bad about asking for help. feel like you are taking care of not only the people around you but yourself as well. I know its hard but the more you do it the easier it will get i promise.
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