Hello Ma Petities
I hope that you are welcoming the spring as a time of renewal the same way I am. As the sun comes out and the earth awakens I find that my love and passion for my honey are awakening too.
Every relationship goes through rough patches where stress, conflict, and life in general severely dampen the romance, passion and "honeymoon" love. We all know that once that stage of a relationship is over you can't bring it back. That is true but I am here to tell you that you can have the better more mature version of it. I call it falling in love again and it really isn't hard to do but it does take effort.
You have to find a way to let your responsibilities go for a few minutes a day. take the time to be silly with your partner, to pamper them and let them pamper you, When you see something that makes that makes you think of them share it with them. Take the time each day to really look at your love and remember everything that you love about them. Most importantly tell them every day how much you love and appreciate them.
All these things seem like such little things but we often lose the little things in the stress of everyday life. Look at your relationship. when was the last time you really looked at your partner, told them you loved them in more than just passing, laughed with them? If it has been more than a few days for any of these you need to do some work on your relationship.
Take the time to fall in love again. Your relationship will be stronger and healthier for it.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Friday, February 4, 2011
The Death of a Relationship
Hello Ma Petities,
In our lifetime each of us will see the cycle of life time and time again; in everything from the changing seasons to the birth of a new child and the passing of a loved one. Relationships go through this cycle as well. They are born in an explosion of passion, lust, and excitement. They cool to a warm loving simmer and some times they end in a fiery crash that kills any hope of rebirth or change.
We as humans can be exceedingly cruel when our emotions are painful. We say things that we don't whole heartily mean, sometimes we say things that are so hurtful that they are unforgivable. We want so badly for the other person to feel our pain that we end up killing any emotion that they may feel for us. In our anger and pain we forget that the other person may be hurting as well, we ignore their attempts at compromise, and we rage at them uncontrollably. We wish them pain and suffering, we insult them, we prey on the things that they are insecure about, and we place our misconceived perception of their actions on them. We hurt them and hate it when they fight back. For whatever reason we chose to do this we show our base personality and the worse parts of us. We show what monsters we can be. We reek such havoc that nothing can be salvaged. We become our own worst enemy.
In times like these there is nothing that can be done. There is no phoenix that will rise from the ashes of this destruction. The only thing we can do is pick up the pieces of our hearts and hope that we learn from the relationship and remember the good times and hope that the people we have hurt so bad some day come to the same point. We can not hope for forgiveness and we can not hope for understanding. The pain we cause with our actions in these types of situations is unrepairable. Our own growth is the only silver lining.
I hope Ma Petities that you never experience this on either end. I hope that my words of warning here help you to control your words, emotions and actions. I hope that you never hurt someone you "love" and who loves you so badly that you can never be forgiven. It is an awful feeling on both ends and one that ultimately un-enriches your life.
In our lifetime each of us will see the cycle of life time and time again; in everything from the changing seasons to the birth of a new child and the passing of a loved one. Relationships go through this cycle as well. They are born in an explosion of passion, lust, and excitement. They cool to a warm loving simmer and some times they end in a fiery crash that kills any hope of rebirth or change.
We as humans can be exceedingly cruel when our emotions are painful. We say things that we don't whole heartily mean, sometimes we say things that are so hurtful that they are unforgivable. We want so badly for the other person to feel our pain that we end up killing any emotion that they may feel for us. In our anger and pain we forget that the other person may be hurting as well, we ignore their attempts at compromise, and we rage at them uncontrollably. We wish them pain and suffering, we insult them, we prey on the things that they are insecure about, and we place our misconceived perception of their actions on them. We hurt them and hate it when they fight back. For whatever reason we chose to do this we show our base personality and the worse parts of us. We show what monsters we can be. We reek such havoc that nothing can be salvaged. We become our own worst enemy.
In times like these there is nothing that can be done. There is no phoenix that will rise from the ashes of this destruction. The only thing we can do is pick up the pieces of our hearts and hope that we learn from the relationship and remember the good times and hope that the people we have hurt so bad some day come to the same point. We can not hope for forgiveness and we can not hope for understanding. The pain we cause with our actions in these types of situations is unrepairable. Our own growth is the only silver lining.
I hope Ma Petities that you never experience this on either end. I hope that my words of warning here help you to control your words, emotions and actions. I hope that you never hurt someone you "love" and who loves you so badly that you can never be forgiven. It is an awful feeling on both ends and one that ultimately un-enriches your life.
Monday, January 31, 2011
some times you can't fix what is broken
Ma Petities,
your mama is sad today. I broke a vase that I had had for years and dearly loved. I knocked it off the counter when I was getting ready to clean it and it broke into several pieces. Armed with gorilla glue and a blow dryer I tried to put it back together again. For a while it looked promising, all the big pieces fit together and it was retaking its beautiful form. But eventually I came to realise that while all the big pieces were there it was the little ones that were missing that would make my vase whole and water tight again. As I looked at my once beautiful vase I got to thinking about relationships.
Sometimes in life we are the proud owners of a beautiful relationship. Then out of no where something happens that breaks that relationship and you love it so much that you scoop up all the pieces you can find and set down to put it back together again. You want to believe that something so beautiful could never be ruined beyond repair. you twist and turn the pieces, forcing them together, cementing them with glue in hopes that you can repair this treasure. However sometimes you just can't fix what is broken. Sometimes the breaking destroys the tiny magic that holds all the big pieces together. While you can glue the big pieces together your relationship will never be as strong or as water tight as it was. Glue loses its hold, cracks spread with time, and the whole relationship is a fragile imitation of what it once was.
When this happens to a relationship, its no ones fault. you both tried to fix things, neither one of you held back the magical tiny piece that would make it whole once again. While there is sorrow there shouldn't be anger at your partner. Neither one of you meant to break the relationship, sometimes accidents just happen.
Now I'm off to find a new vase to put my flowers in but I'll leave you with this parting thought. Are you trying to fix something that can't be fixed and if you are how long are you going to fight with it until you let it go?
your mama is sad today. I broke a vase that I had had for years and dearly loved. I knocked it off the counter when I was getting ready to clean it and it broke into several pieces. Armed with gorilla glue and a blow dryer I tried to put it back together again. For a while it looked promising, all the big pieces fit together and it was retaking its beautiful form. But eventually I came to realise that while all the big pieces were there it was the little ones that were missing that would make my vase whole and water tight again. As I looked at my once beautiful vase I got to thinking about relationships.
Sometimes in life we are the proud owners of a beautiful relationship. Then out of no where something happens that breaks that relationship and you love it so much that you scoop up all the pieces you can find and set down to put it back together again. You want to believe that something so beautiful could never be ruined beyond repair. you twist and turn the pieces, forcing them together, cementing them with glue in hopes that you can repair this treasure. However sometimes you just can't fix what is broken. Sometimes the breaking destroys the tiny magic that holds all the big pieces together. While you can glue the big pieces together your relationship will never be as strong or as water tight as it was. Glue loses its hold, cracks spread with time, and the whole relationship is a fragile imitation of what it once was.
When this happens to a relationship, its no ones fault. you both tried to fix things, neither one of you held back the magical tiny piece that would make it whole once again. While there is sorrow there shouldn't be anger at your partner. Neither one of you meant to break the relationship, sometimes accidents just happen.
Now I'm off to find a new vase to put my flowers in but I'll leave you with this parting thought. Are you trying to fix something that can't be fixed and if you are how long are you going to fight with it until you let it go?
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Rolling with the Punches
Hello Ma Petities,
We all have that friend or love one who when change comes they dig in there heels, claw at the ground, and scream at the fact they have to change. So often these changes are caused by things that we can not change; whether that be a monumental change in our lives such as a baby, death in the family, end of a relationship or the just the luck of the draw such as layoffs, illness or a natural disaster.
We all go through these types of changes at some point in our lives and while some of us handle them with grace and dignity, those who don't make life exceedingly hard on the people who love and are around them. The people who refuse to roll with the punches make it very hard for the people who love them to help them. They yell and scream at the help and they alienate the ones who love them through this lack of give. How do you help some one who is only going to tell you that all your efforts are wrong? how do you work up the energy to give that person comfort, aid, or solace when all they will do is tell you that because it is not done the way or when they wanted it done it is incorrect and unappreciated?
I ask you Ma Petities to examine your lives. are you the one who rolls with the punches and accepts help with grace and dignity or are you the one who fights the changes and ends up pushing the people who love you away?
We all have that friend or love one who when change comes they dig in there heels, claw at the ground, and scream at the fact they have to change. So often these changes are caused by things that we can not change; whether that be a monumental change in our lives such as a baby, death in the family, end of a relationship or the just the luck of the draw such as layoffs, illness or a natural disaster.
We all go through these types of changes at some point in our lives and while some of us handle them with grace and dignity, those who don't make life exceedingly hard on the people who love and are around them. The people who refuse to roll with the punches make it very hard for the people who love them to help them. They yell and scream at the help and they alienate the ones who love them through this lack of give. How do you help some one who is only going to tell you that all your efforts are wrong? how do you work up the energy to give that person comfort, aid, or solace when all they will do is tell you that because it is not done the way or when they wanted it done it is incorrect and unappreciated?
I ask you Ma Petities to examine your lives. are you the one who rolls with the punches and accepts help with grace and dignity or are you the one who fights the changes and ends up pushing the people who love you away?
Monday, January 10, 2011
Taking yourself on a Date
Hello Ma Petities,
When was the last time you went out and did something by yourself?
If you can't remember then it is time to take yourself out on a date. Take yourself out to dinner where you order what ever you want with out the pressure to seem perfect. Go to a movie that you are really interested in and indulge at the snack bar. Splurge on just yourself, do something that you are passionate about, or take up a new hobby.
We often worry about what society will think of a woman out to dinner or a movie by herself. But in giving in to the societal pressure of being attached to either a man or an entourage we deny ourselves the fun, freedom, and independence of being alone. Being alone gives us time to recharge for our relationships, release from the social expectations that often cage us, and time to find a new and improved love for ourselves. The cage of caring what society thinks often keeps us from experiencing the full range of life. Break free of that cage and spread those wings. Don't be afraid of falling. Mistakes and new experiences are how we grow and to hamper those things stunt the growth that we as humans are capable of.
Life is like cooking. It is an art not a science. Experimentation, experience, and lucky mistakes are what create masterpieces in both. Don't limit yourself to society's recipe. Try some Creative cooking 101 in both your life and your kitchen.
When was the last time you went out and did something by yourself?
If you can't remember then it is time to take yourself out on a date. Take yourself out to dinner where you order what ever you want with out the pressure to seem perfect. Go to a movie that you are really interested in and indulge at the snack bar. Splurge on just yourself, do something that you are passionate about, or take up a new hobby.
We often worry about what society will think of a woman out to dinner or a movie by herself. But in giving in to the societal pressure of being attached to either a man or an entourage we deny ourselves the fun, freedom, and independence of being alone. Being alone gives us time to recharge for our relationships, release from the social expectations that often cage us, and time to find a new and improved love for ourselves. The cage of caring what society thinks often keeps us from experiencing the full range of life. Break free of that cage and spread those wings. Don't be afraid of falling. Mistakes and new experiences are how we grow and to hamper those things stunt the growth that we as humans are capable of.
Life is like cooking. It is an art not a science. Experimentation, experience, and lucky mistakes are what create masterpieces in both. Don't limit yourself to society's recipe. Try some Creative cooking 101 in both your life and your kitchen.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Listening
Hello Ma Petities,
I find the older I get the smarter my mama gets. I quite often find myself giving the advice she gave to me and hoping like she hoped that whoever I am speaking to will listen to me.
So often we are given advice that while we may hear, we don't actually listen. We also may not hear what our partners are saying to us. We end up projecting our own fears, insecurities, and definitions on to what they are actually saying. This causes fights, misunderstandings and resentment to build. If we all worked to actually listen instead of inferring meaning on what our partners are saying how much easier would our lives be. Think of the honest communications that could be had if we cleared our own meaning and took what our loved ones said at face value.
Listening to our partners is so important. Work on it babies and let your relationships go as smooth as possible
I find the older I get the smarter my mama gets. I quite often find myself giving the advice she gave to me and hoping like she hoped that whoever I am speaking to will listen to me.
So often we are given advice that while we may hear, we don't actually listen. We also may not hear what our partners are saying to us. We end up projecting our own fears, insecurities, and definitions on to what they are actually saying. This causes fights, misunderstandings and resentment to build. If we all worked to actually listen instead of inferring meaning on what our partners are saying how much easier would our lives be. Think of the honest communications that could be had if we cleared our own meaning and took what our loved ones said at face value.
Listening to our partners is so important. Work on it babies and let your relationships go as smooth as possible
Monday, January 3, 2011
Welcome to the new year
Hello Ma Petities,
i hope that you all are making wishes and are dreaming big for this new year. I know that we as Americans have the tradition of making new year resolutions that typically don't even make it through the end of January. I'm not going to encourage you to make resolutions this year. Instead I want you to make your bucket list. write down all the things you really want to do before you die. I also want you to indulge in the simple joys of life.
Find the pleasure in life; dance around your house in your pj's, eat desert first, savor every bite of food, soak up the sun and find the beauty in a quite day with your lover. Find your passion and immerse yourself in it. Let go of regrets, fears, and insecurities; indulge in the wild freedom of life. Relish in the journey you are on, get excited about the unknown, and allow yourself to see the possibilities in each new day. Let your soul fly this year. Let this year be the year you finally start making your dreams come true.
To this new year and all of its wonderful possibilities, I raise a glass. May it be a wild passionate ride for all of you.
i hope that you all are making wishes and are dreaming big for this new year. I know that we as Americans have the tradition of making new year resolutions that typically don't even make it through the end of January. I'm not going to encourage you to make resolutions this year. Instead I want you to make your bucket list. write down all the things you really want to do before you die. I also want you to indulge in the simple joys of life.
Find the pleasure in life; dance around your house in your pj's, eat desert first, savor every bite of food, soak up the sun and find the beauty in a quite day with your lover. Find your passion and immerse yourself in it. Let go of regrets, fears, and insecurities; indulge in the wild freedom of life. Relish in the journey you are on, get excited about the unknown, and allow yourself to see the possibilities in each new day. Let your soul fly this year. Let this year be the year you finally start making your dreams come true.
To this new year and all of its wonderful possibilities, I raise a glass. May it be a wild passionate ride for all of you.
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