Hello Ma Petities,
We all have that friend or love one who when change comes they dig in there heels, claw at the ground, and scream at the fact they have to change. So often these changes are caused by things that we can not change; whether that be a monumental change in our lives such as a baby, death in the family, end of a relationship or the just the luck of the draw such as layoffs, illness or a natural disaster.
We all go through these types of changes at some point in our lives and while some of us handle them with grace and dignity, those who don't make life exceedingly hard on the people who love and are around them. The people who refuse to roll with the punches make it very hard for the people who love them to help them. They yell and scream at the help and they alienate the ones who love them through this lack of give. How do you help some one who is only going to tell you that all your efforts are wrong? how do you work up the energy to give that person comfort, aid, or solace when all they will do is tell you that because it is not done the way or when they wanted it done it is incorrect and unappreciated?
I ask you Ma Petities to examine your lives. are you the one who rolls with the punches and accepts help with grace and dignity or are you the one who fights the changes and ends up pushing the people who love you away?
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Monday, January 10, 2011
Taking yourself on a Date
Hello Ma Petities,
When was the last time you went out and did something by yourself?
If you can't remember then it is time to take yourself out on a date. Take yourself out to dinner where you order what ever you want with out the pressure to seem perfect. Go to a movie that you are really interested in and indulge at the snack bar. Splurge on just yourself, do something that you are passionate about, or take up a new hobby.
We often worry about what society will think of a woman out to dinner or a movie by herself. But in giving in to the societal pressure of being attached to either a man or an entourage we deny ourselves the fun, freedom, and independence of being alone. Being alone gives us time to recharge for our relationships, release from the social expectations that often cage us, and time to find a new and improved love for ourselves. The cage of caring what society thinks often keeps us from experiencing the full range of life. Break free of that cage and spread those wings. Don't be afraid of falling. Mistakes and new experiences are how we grow and to hamper those things stunt the growth that we as humans are capable of.
Life is like cooking. It is an art not a science. Experimentation, experience, and lucky mistakes are what create masterpieces in both. Don't limit yourself to society's recipe. Try some Creative cooking 101 in both your life and your kitchen.
When was the last time you went out and did something by yourself?
If you can't remember then it is time to take yourself out on a date. Take yourself out to dinner where you order what ever you want with out the pressure to seem perfect. Go to a movie that you are really interested in and indulge at the snack bar. Splurge on just yourself, do something that you are passionate about, or take up a new hobby.
We often worry about what society will think of a woman out to dinner or a movie by herself. But in giving in to the societal pressure of being attached to either a man or an entourage we deny ourselves the fun, freedom, and independence of being alone. Being alone gives us time to recharge for our relationships, release from the social expectations that often cage us, and time to find a new and improved love for ourselves. The cage of caring what society thinks often keeps us from experiencing the full range of life. Break free of that cage and spread those wings. Don't be afraid of falling. Mistakes and new experiences are how we grow and to hamper those things stunt the growth that we as humans are capable of.
Life is like cooking. It is an art not a science. Experimentation, experience, and lucky mistakes are what create masterpieces in both. Don't limit yourself to society's recipe. Try some Creative cooking 101 in both your life and your kitchen.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Listening
Hello Ma Petities,
I find the older I get the smarter my mama gets. I quite often find myself giving the advice she gave to me and hoping like she hoped that whoever I am speaking to will listen to me.
So often we are given advice that while we may hear, we don't actually listen. We also may not hear what our partners are saying to us. We end up projecting our own fears, insecurities, and definitions on to what they are actually saying. This causes fights, misunderstandings and resentment to build. If we all worked to actually listen instead of inferring meaning on what our partners are saying how much easier would our lives be. Think of the honest communications that could be had if we cleared our own meaning and took what our loved ones said at face value.
Listening to our partners is so important. Work on it babies and let your relationships go as smooth as possible
I find the older I get the smarter my mama gets. I quite often find myself giving the advice she gave to me and hoping like she hoped that whoever I am speaking to will listen to me.
So often we are given advice that while we may hear, we don't actually listen. We also may not hear what our partners are saying to us. We end up projecting our own fears, insecurities, and definitions on to what they are actually saying. This causes fights, misunderstandings and resentment to build. If we all worked to actually listen instead of inferring meaning on what our partners are saying how much easier would our lives be. Think of the honest communications that could be had if we cleared our own meaning and took what our loved ones said at face value.
Listening to our partners is so important. Work on it babies and let your relationships go as smooth as possible
Monday, January 3, 2011
Welcome to the new year
Hello Ma Petities,
i hope that you all are making wishes and are dreaming big for this new year. I know that we as Americans have the tradition of making new year resolutions that typically don't even make it through the end of January. I'm not going to encourage you to make resolutions this year. Instead I want you to make your bucket list. write down all the things you really want to do before you die. I also want you to indulge in the simple joys of life.
Find the pleasure in life; dance around your house in your pj's, eat desert first, savor every bite of food, soak up the sun and find the beauty in a quite day with your lover. Find your passion and immerse yourself in it. Let go of regrets, fears, and insecurities; indulge in the wild freedom of life. Relish in the journey you are on, get excited about the unknown, and allow yourself to see the possibilities in each new day. Let your soul fly this year. Let this year be the year you finally start making your dreams come true.
To this new year and all of its wonderful possibilities, I raise a glass. May it be a wild passionate ride for all of you.
i hope that you all are making wishes and are dreaming big for this new year. I know that we as Americans have the tradition of making new year resolutions that typically don't even make it through the end of January. I'm not going to encourage you to make resolutions this year. Instead I want you to make your bucket list. write down all the things you really want to do before you die. I also want you to indulge in the simple joys of life.
Find the pleasure in life; dance around your house in your pj's, eat desert first, savor every bite of food, soak up the sun and find the beauty in a quite day with your lover. Find your passion and immerse yourself in it. Let go of regrets, fears, and insecurities; indulge in the wild freedom of life. Relish in the journey you are on, get excited about the unknown, and allow yourself to see the possibilities in each new day. Let your soul fly this year. Let this year be the year you finally start making your dreams come true.
To this new year and all of its wonderful possibilities, I raise a glass. May it be a wild passionate ride for all of you.
Friday, December 31, 2010
fighting fair
Good Morning Ma Petities,
You mama is very disappointed in her self. I got into a fight with someone I loves very much and I said somethings that hurt that person a lot. No matter how bad I feel about saying them in the heat of the moment or how many times I apologize for doing it, I know that they can not be taken back. I know that they will have to be worked through for our relationship to heal. However Ma Petities, this fight taught me something that I can now pass on to you.
Little things in your relationship that bother you and you back burner do not cool off or stop cooking. In fact putting them on the back burner can lead to a pot boiling over when you are least expecting it. Its like a pot left on the back burner of a stove where the oven is on below it. You set it there to get it out of the way but keep it warm and when you aren't looking the heat of the over turns it red hot and burns the bottom of what ever you were keeping warm. So it is with the little hurts and upsets that every relationship has. you put them on that back burner because other things in life are more important or more pressing and when you aren't paying attention the heat from everyday life has them overcooked and you and your loved one are sitting across the room screaming at each other over things that aren't really all that important and words get said because of all that heat that you don't really mean and regret deeply afterwards.
So Ma Petities take it from some one who knows, don't let the little things build up, don't put them on the back burner and forget about them. Open up and deal with them right then and there if you can and don't let more than 24 hours go with out dealing with them. It is a whole lot easier to clean up a small mess in the kitchen than it is to clean up the pot that explodes from to much heat.
You mama is very disappointed in her self. I got into a fight with someone I loves very much and I said somethings that hurt that person a lot. No matter how bad I feel about saying them in the heat of the moment or how many times I apologize for doing it, I know that they can not be taken back. I know that they will have to be worked through for our relationship to heal. However Ma Petities, this fight taught me something that I can now pass on to you.
Little things in your relationship that bother you and you back burner do not cool off or stop cooking. In fact putting them on the back burner can lead to a pot boiling over when you are least expecting it. Its like a pot left on the back burner of a stove where the oven is on below it. You set it there to get it out of the way but keep it warm and when you aren't looking the heat of the over turns it red hot and burns the bottom of what ever you were keeping warm. So it is with the little hurts and upsets that every relationship has. you put them on that back burner because other things in life are more important or more pressing and when you aren't paying attention the heat from everyday life has them overcooked and you and your loved one are sitting across the room screaming at each other over things that aren't really all that important and words get said because of all that heat that you don't really mean and regret deeply afterwards.
So Ma Petities take it from some one who knows, don't let the little things build up, don't put them on the back burner and forget about them. Open up and deal with them right then and there if you can and don't let more than 24 hours go with out dealing with them. It is a whole lot easier to clean up a small mess in the kitchen than it is to clean up the pot that explodes from to much heat.
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas Ma Petities,
I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and are getting ready for a spectacular New Year.
I want you all to think about the glee you had as children about this time of year. So often as adults we get so wound up in the busyness of thing that we forget the magic. I hope that you all are able for at least a moment to put aside the stresses of day to day adult life and allow yourself to get caught up in the magic of the season. Apprecate the beauty of snow covered trees, wallow in the aroma of lovingly prepared meals cooking, delight in the presents under the tree, and belive in the magic of christmas once again.
Find your child-like glee, lose your worries in the magic. It will recharge you in a way you would have never thought.
I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and are getting ready for a spectacular New Year.
I want you all to think about the glee you had as children about this time of year. So often as adults we get so wound up in the busyness of thing that we forget the magic. I hope that you all are able for at least a moment to put aside the stresses of day to day adult life and allow yourself to get caught up in the magic of the season. Apprecate the beauty of snow covered trees, wallow in the aroma of lovingly prepared meals cooking, delight in the presents under the tree, and belive in the magic of christmas once again.
Find your child-like glee, lose your worries in the magic. It will recharge you in a way you would have never thought.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Want to Vs Have to
Good Morning Ma Petities,
I had an interesting conversation with my love the other day about how I didn't have to get him the tools to begin his mead making again for Christmas. I laughed at him and told him that Christmas was not about have to but about want to. This conversation made me think about how often we do things for a partners out of a have to mental state.
I often tell my love that having dinner or breakfast ready when my love comes home from work because that is my responsibility in our relationship. He often tells me how I don't have to do it or how if I am tired I should just rest. While I tell him that it is my responsibility which can come across as a have to attitude I don't feel that I have. I want to do that for him, I want to take care of him the same way he takes care of me.
My kitchen is not a place of have to's but a place of want to's. it is a place where I can show a physical representation of my love, devotion, and care for my loved ones. I think that often times we do things for our partners that are want to's but because of our presentation come across as have to's. We need to think about the way we present our acts of love to our partners so that they know that we do not feel like we are forced into doing things for them but do them out of a desire to show how much we love them.
Take the time today to evaluate how you show your appreciation to your loved one. Does it come across as a want to or a have to? If it comes across as a have to make sure that you are actually doing it for the right reasons and then make sure your partner knows how much you want to do special or day to day tasks for them. Show them the want to of your actions so that they know everyday how much you care. Don't let it be just during this holiday season that you make the want to's known.
I had an interesting conversation with my love the other day about how I didn't have to get him the tools to begin his mead making again for Christmas. I laughed at him and told him that Christmas was not about have to but about want to. This conversation made me think about how often we do things for a partners out of a have to mental state.
I often tell my love that having dinner or breakfast ready when my love comes home from work because that is my responsibility in our relationship. He often tells me how I don't have to do it or how if I am tired I should just rest. While I tell him that it is my responsibility which can come across as a have to attitude I don't feel that I have. I want to do that for him, I want to take care of him the same way he takes care of me.
My kitchen is not a place of have to's but a place of want to's. it is a place where I can show a physical representation of my love, devotion, and care for my loved ones. I think that often times we do things for our partners that are want to's but because of our presentation come across as have to's. We need to think about the way we present our acts of love to our partners so that they know that we do not feel like we are forced into doing things for them but do them out of a desire to show how much we love them.
Take the time today to evaluate how you show your appreciation to your loved one. Does it come across as a want to or a have to? If it comes across as a have to make sure that you are actually doing it for the right reasons and then make sure your partner knows how much you want to do special or day to day tasks for them. Show them the want to of your actions so that they know everyday how much you care. Don't let it be just during this holiday season that you make the want to's known.
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