Good Morning Ma Petities,
I had an interesting conversation with my love the other day about how I didn't have to get him the tools to begin his mead making again for Christmas. I laughed at him and told him that Christmas was not about have to but about want to. This conversation made me think about how often we do things for a partners out of a have to mental state.
I often tell my love that having dinner or breakfast ready when my love comes home from work because that is my responsibility in our relationship. He often tells me how I don't have to do it or how if I am tired I should just rest. While I tell him that it is my responsibility which can come across as a have to attitude I don't feel that I have. I want to do that for him, I want to take care of him the same way he takes care of me.
My kitchen is not a place of have to's but a place of want to's. it is a place where I can show a physical representation of my love, devotion, and care for my loved ones. I think that often times we do things for our partners that are want to's but because of our presentation come across as have to's. We need to think about the way we present our acts of love to our partners so that they know that we do not feel like we are forced into doing things for them but do them out of a desire to show how much we love them.
Take the time today to evaluate how you show your appreciation to your loved one. Does it come across as a want to or a have to? If it comes across as a have to make sure that you are actually doing it for the right reasons and then make sure your partner knows how much you want to do special or day to day tasks for them. Show them the want to of your actions so that they know everyday how much you care. Don't let it be just during this holiday season that you make the want to's known.
AWESOME INSIGHT MAMA!!!
ReplyDeleteIt's hard for a lot of people to accept that their partners genuinely want to do things for them, especially in new relationships. We live in a world where a lot of times (especially in the work world) asking for something will be met with owing someone a favor later.
In relationships, one must accept that not only does their partner not feel guilted into the act of service, but that allowing their partner to do something for you isn't going to be later met with resentment or payback.
How one presents those acts of service definitely plays a factor in how easily it is for their partner to accept that it is something you want to do to show your love, rather than something you have to do.
Chef's spend extra time and effort to plate their food. You can make an amazing gourmet lasagna, but if you drop it on a paper plate and the layers slide around and collapse, no matter how good it tastes the initial reaction before your diners take their first bite will be skepticism.